Something bad happens, and you realize that maybe this act was a sign that your relationship was already kind of over; maybe you just sadly needed something concrete like cheating to come to the realization. However, that definitely doesn’t justify cheating, and it doesn’t make what happened okay. With that mindset, you can forgive the bastard because I’m sure he’s feeling awfully guilty and has tried ever so hard to get you back through chocolate, flowers, and other tokens of love that come in edible or aesthetically pleasing arrangements.
However, you’ll realize that it’s probably best to just forgive him and let him move on, and hopefully you can do the same. However, it’s going to be tough to ever forget the feeling of betrayal, and there will be a lasting effect, maybe subtle hesitations in future relationships, too. “Sorry new boyfriend, I’m broken. Blame my cheating ex and fix me.”
HOWEVER, at some point, you have to mentally move past your cheating old loves and embrace the new ones. You can’t hold the mistakes of past partners against your new one. If you find yourself doing this, then maybe you aren’t ready for a new relationship and should focus on yourself for a little while – that’s okay and completely normal.
These rules are totally subjective, and of course, there are an abundance of scenarios and circumstances that come up in different relationships. You might find yourself defending your cheating partner and your tainted relationship because, “He apologized and said it would never happen again.” “She was super drunk! She’s really a good person!” “He had no choice!”
There’s always an excuse behind a mistake. The truth is, though, that no one can decide on your ability to forgive and forget better than yourself. Make sure that your choice is what you want, and your behavior after making this choice is fair. Personally, I am not an advocate for getting back with a cheater. I have forgiven, I have forgotten, and I have also come to this conclusion:
Getting back with your ex is like putting on the same underwear after you take a shower. It’s dirty, you’ll do it if you have absolutely no other choice, and you are most likely going to be embarrassed to say it in public, so leave it where it lays, on the floor.
